I realize that I have been avoiding writing in this blog for quite a while. Anything I might have written about in the past six weeks could only reference the fact that we were imminently leaving Sikkim. That was something I didn't want to think about, but now I am home and in my longing for the place I feel the need to write.
About a month before we left Taktse, I inadvertently had an encounter with a western (Canadian) parent whose child is currently attending Taktse in Grade 3. There was a mix-up. We were supposed to meet on a particular day to discuss his child's results to a Grade 4 Progression test. That day Corrina was sick and I decided to stay home. I forgot about the meeting, which was at Noon, until about 10:30AM at which point I tried to reach someone at school. The only person I could find was an administrative assistant. She took a message and sent it along to the Head of the Lower School.
I didn't think any more about it until I got a call at 1PM. The student's teacher was calling to ask when I would be arriving at school to attend the meeting. I explained to her that I had already sent word I wouldn't be coming to school that day and she was surprised to hear it. In fact, she had already been yelled at (at length) by the parent about how unprofessional the school and I both were for letting this happen.
When I heard that from her, I cringed. I cringed partly because the mix-up had led to the parents waiting over an hour for me to arrive at school; and I cringed partly because it was clear that the father had given it to Ms. Dingtsa even though she had nothing to do with the mix-up. And at that moment I realized that I hadn't cringed like that in 8 months. It was clear that the father had verbally throw up his negative emotion on Ms. Dingtsa and she was shaken by it. In Sikkim and at Taktse, no one feels that they have the right to anything like that. But in America it happens all the time. I felt like I was back in America witnessing the worst that people have to offer.
Coming home is a complicated business. I am so glad to be here amongst things familiar, but I feel sad for the things we had to leave behind. I am going to miss the enormous hospitality and kindess of the people in Sikkim and at Taktse. When you live so close to so many people as one does in India, you will only survive if you learn to get along. Here in the US, our notions of self-reliance and independence allow us the illusion that we don't need other people and therefore can mistreat and dismiss them at our whim. I will miss the daily confrontation of the use and misuse of the resources we have. In the US it is so easy to overlook the impact of our usage -- of water, of packaging, of food -- because we tuck the evidence away in tidy white garbage bags (that smell nice no matter what you put in the bag!). I am going to miss the simple way of eating that is whole food and organic by necessity. And I am going to miss the mystical sense that the earth is alive.
I don't know how I am going to avoid the situation that happened with the Canadian parent in the future, especially if I work as an administrator at a school. Perhaps I will have to teach people some bits of the Sikkimese way. And if you will indulge me, I will keep writing about what it is like to be back.
About a month before we left Taktse, I inadvertently had an encounter with a western (Canadian) parent whose child is currently attending Taktse in Grade 3. There was a mix-up. We were supposed to meet on a particular day to discuss his child's results to a Grade 4 Progression test. That day Corrina was sick and I decided to stay home. I forgot about the meeting, which was at Noon, until about 10:30AM at which point I tried to reach someone at school. The only person I could find was an administrative assistant. She took a message and sent it along to the Head of the Lower School.
I didn't think any more about it until I got a call at 1PM. The student's teacher was calling to ask when I would be arriving at school to attend the meeting. I explained to her that I had already sent word I wouldn't be coming to school that day and she was surprised to hear it. In fact, she had already been yelled at (at length) by the parent about how unprofessional the school and I both were for letting this happen.
When I heard that from her, I cringed. I cringed partly because the mix-up had led to the parents waiting over an hour for me to arrive at school; and I cringed partly because it was clear that the father had given it to Ms. Dingtsa even though she had nothing to do with the mix-up. And at that moment I realized that I hadn't cringed like that in 8 months. It was clear that the father had verbally throw up his negative emotion on Ms. Dingtsa and she was shaken by it. In Sikkim and at Taktse, no one feels that they have the right to anything like that. But in America it happens all the time. I felt like I was back in America witnessing the worst that people have to offer.
Coming home is a complicated business. I am so glad to be here amongst things familiar, but I feel sad for the things we had to leave behind. I am going to miss the enormous hospitality and kindess of the people in Sikkim and at Taktse. When you live so close to so many people as one does in India, you will only survive if you learn to get along. Here in the US, our notions of self-reliance and independence allow us the illusion that we don't need other people and therefore can mistreat and dismiss them at our whim. I will miss the daily confrontation of the use and misuse of the resources we have. In the US it is so easy to overlook the impact of our usage -- of water, of packaging, of food -- because we tuck the evidence away in tidy white garbage bags (that smell nice no matter what you put in the bag!). I am going to miss the simple way of eating that is whole food and organic by necessity. And I am going to miss the mystical sense that the earth is alive.
I don't know how I am going to avoid the situation that happened with the Canadian parent in the future, especially if I work as an administrator at a school. Perhaps I will have to teach people some bits of the Sikkimese way. And if you will indulge me, I will keep writing about what it is like to be back.
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